The Mission 2
by Queenoliviagrant
Summary: Fitz and Olivia are newlyweds. Can a human alien marriage work?
1. Chapter 1

"I can get you a glass of water."

Olivia frowned and spit the red liquid in her glass. Fitz blushed, totally embarrassed. This was their first real date, and Olivia's first time drinking wine.

"Fermented grapes are very bitter."

"Would you like a glass of water."

"Water? You drink rain on this planet?"

"Yeah, we can't survive without water."

"It is a scarce resource on my planet."

"I want to know more about where you come from."

"You are seeking more information about the Andromeda galaxy?"

"Yes Olivia."

"Okay, I don't know where to start. Humans have never travelled to a distant star system. Your leaders sent the satellite Voyager into space with primative technology, and it is now entering interstellar space. Your species cannot travel faster than the speed of light, and you do not have the intelligence to build a warp drive. I really don't know how to converse with you about the universe."

"What are your hobbies?"

"What is a hobby?"

"It's something you like to do when you have extra time in the day."

"Okay. I like having sex with the supreme leader on my planet. Is that a hobby?"

"No."

"We can't procreate. He likes me to sit on his face. It's a great way to cheer myself up after a long day working at the palace. The dickheads always have hard dicks after work."

"You can't have sex with anymore dickheads."

"Is that a rule of marriage?"

"Yes."

"Can I sit on your dick after work?"

"Yes."

"Great, I'm looking forward to many more orgasms."

"So am I."

"Fitz Grant. Can we leave this restaurant?"

"Yes."

"Thank you. I would like to go home with you and have sex."

"We can do that."

""You are a very nice husband Fitz Grant."


	2. Chapter 2

Fitz stumbled into the hallway and turned the light switch. Olivia wasn't beside him, and the sound of the washing machine woke him up. Olivia was standing next to it. She lowered her glass for a refill.

"Olivia, are you drinking water?"

"Fitz Grant this machine can produce gallons of water."

"You don't drink that water."

"Why not Fitz Grant? It can produce more water than the sink."

"That water is for cleaning."

"Okay."

"I'll get you some water to drink."

"Thanks Fitz Grant."

"I have to work tomorrow. Are you going to be okay here without me?"

"I will be okay. I will watch the loud images on the device in the living room."

"It's a television."

"Fitz Grant. Do you have popcorn?"

"You eat popcorn on your planet?"

"No, we don't eat it. We heat the kernels in our hands until they pop, and we use them as confetti at our celebrations."

"You can heat food with your hands?"

"Of course. My species has a very high internal temperature. You don't notice the extra warmth when your dick is in my vagina?"

"Yeah, that's why the sex is great."

"Do you have popcorn?"

"No, I can get some from the store."

"Can we go to the store now?"

"How about in the morning?" Fitz asked, looking over her shoulder. The water was running in the kitchen and overflowing the sink.

"Dammit, I need a mop."

"Oh no, the water has taking on a mind of its own. It's leaving the sink. We have to get out of here before we drown!"

"It's okay Olivia. I can remove the water."

"Hurry before it consumes the whole neighborhood Fitz Grant!"

"Okay, you stay right here. I'll remove the water, and then we can go back to sleep."

"Thank you Fitz Grant."


	3. Chapter 3

"Fitz Grant why are you not working?"

"I quit."

"Why?"

"Because I want to be here with you, and I also have an endless supply of gold coins."

"Will the other humans be disappointed? Do they need your services?"

"My boss can find a replacement."

"Where can I find a job? I would like to make myself useful to the human population."

"You want to work?"

"If that is okay with you. I understand that we should agree on important decisions in a marriage."

"We should."

"Can I earn money selling sex? I'm very good at it."

"No, you can't be a prostitute. How about a waitress?"

"You want me to sell water to the human population? That sounds like a very important job."

"You can make great tips."

"Fitz Grant. Can we purchase a human baby? I would like raise a tiny human with you."

"You want a baby?"

"Yes, can we purchase a human baby from the hospital?"

"Olivia, I really don't think we're ready for that. How about a puppy?"

"You want to bring animals in our home?"

"Yes, we can adopt a baby if you can take care of a puppy."

"I don't want to live with animals. We have gold coins. Can we purchase a baby that has blue eyes and brown hair?"

"You can't purchase humans."

"The hospital has a large room filled with babies. We can't purchase them?"

"No."

"The woman next door is pregnant. Can I offer her a glass of water in exchange for her baby? It's a fair trade. Water is a valuable resource."

"No, she's not giving us her baby for a glass of water."

"I don't understand Fitz Grant. If we can't purchase a baby or offer a valuable resource to a pregnant female human, how will get a human baby?"

"We can adopt or hire a surrogate."

"I don't understand those terms."

"I will explain everything when we both are ready for a baby."

"Okay Fitz Grant."


	4. Chapter 4

"I made a human friend today."

"That's good."

"Her name is Galaxy."

"Interesting."

"She sells water to customers at the restaurant, and she sells sex to customers at the hotel where she goes after work."

"She's a prostitute."

"Fitz Grant. I can really make more money selling sex on this planet. Galaxy says it is the world's oldest profession. Surely if women have been selling sex for thousands of years it has to be a respectable job."

"No."

"I am tired of selling water."

"Quit the job. You don't need to work."

"The lady next door will give us her baby if we give her gold coins. She has a very interesting life story. She sells sex for a living, and the baby is the product of a transaction."

"How do you know that?"

"I met her outside and offered her a glass of water. When I told her about my planet, she asked me about drugs. I told her I don't have any drugs. I do have gold coins that I can exchange for her baby. She is going to accept my offer, and we can have a human baby."

"We are not buying a drug addicted prostitute's baby."

"We can't purchase a baby from the hospital. We are going to give her gold coins. Our marriage is not complete without a human baby."

"Olivia, babies are a huge responsibility. You don't need that stress. You're still learning how to be a human."

"I want a normal marriage Fitz Grant."

Fitz knew he wouldn't win this argument. They were adopting a baby. Not the crack baby next door. A formal adoption with an agency.

"Okay, we can start planning for a baby. I want you to be happy Olivia."

"Thank you Fitz Grant."


	5. Chapter 5

"Let me do all of the talking. If the interviewer ask you any questions, I will say you're hoarse."

"Fitz Grant. I am not a horse. Do humans marry animals on this planet?"

"Yeah, in West Virginia and Arkansas."

"Humans procreate with animals on this planet?"

"Only the humans that are inbred. We call them hicks. You don't ever want to meet any of them."

Fitz waited for the interviewer from the adoption agency outside. He instructed Olivia to stay in the house and try to act human. If she said anything outlandish, the adoption would be canceled. He wanted Olivia to be happy.

"Hello, you must be Fitzgerald?"

"You can call me Fitz."

"Is your wife home?"

"She's here, but she has the flu, and she's very hoarse."

"Okay, we can reschedule the interview."

"No, it's fine. You can speak to me."

The interviewer came in the house and greeted Olivia. "Hello, you must be Olivia?"

"Neigh." Olivia said.

"What?"

"She said hey."

"Oh, I'm sorry. She sounds really bad. I thought she said neigh like a horse."

"I'm not from West Virginia or Arkansas."

"Where are you from?"

"Andromeda."

"You sound better. Where is that city?"

"It's a small town in upstate New York." Fitz said.

"I don't know much about New York. I'm from California."

Fitz smiled. He was glad the lady didn't want to know anything else about Olivia's hometown.

"So, how long have you lived in this house?"

"We moved here a few years ago."

"It's a nice house. I'm sure it will be a great home for your growing family."

"Do you want to know anything else about us? Olivia has been coughing all day, and I really don't want this to be a long interview. You can meet with me tomorrow, and I can answer anymore questions you have about me and Olivia."

"Okay. I'll call you, and we can schedule another appointment."

"Neigh."

"Excuse me?"

"She is trying not to sneeze. It's a quirk of hers. She always says hey before she lets out a really loud hachoo."

"Okay. I hope you feel better soon Olivia."

"Neigh." Olivia said and looked at Fitz. "Hachoo." She said, covering her nose.

"Was I human enough for you?" Olivia asked, when the interviewer left.

"You did good Olivia."


End file.
